|
|
|
June 4th, 2004
04:34 pm - Been thinking a lot of what's to end.
Fifteen days until graduation. How the years have flown by me. When I think about leaving these walls, bittersweet memories swell inside me and I can't help but relive them. The foolish young girl dramas Parvati and I got ourselves so caught up in, the do or die quidditch matches on warm fall days, Astronomy lessons in the midnights of springtime... I've made so many friends and yet grown apart from a few that made my early years here at Hogwarts truly warm. I'm not sure how to say goodbye to Parvati. Whether it be a forever goodbye or a frail promise to get together for tea once a week that'll never be lived up to. She will always remain the bulk of my memories of Hogwarts, yet life changes, people change.
Perhaps getting to know Tony so late in my scholastic endeavor will prove to be a blessing in disguise. He was so in love with Padma, maybe still is... probably still is... I've never point blank asked Parvati what she had done that was so cruel to break their world apart and I suppose I never will. It's not my business to know, only to be there for Tony when he asks. I fear if I know the truth I'll never think of Parvati the same way again. It's cowardice in me, but that's what I choose. I choose to remember Parvati as my support and best mate from my early years at Hogwarts.
I suppose I'll take this summer to look further into a healing program and view the London sights. I have not yet written my parents about my plans and hopes to stay in the city this summer. I'm quite nervous to hear what they'd have to say. Mother, no doubt, has already set plans in motion for me to shadow her around all summer as her little grasshopper while she attends art openings after galas after private shows. I know she loves me dearly, but what she wants for me is not what I want. Perhaps I will promise her I'll look into a museum curator apprenticeship if she allows me to stay in London for the summer.
I'm not sure what to expect in my immediate future. I'm overjoyed yet still a bit anxious to live with Tony this summer (if plans pan out) and yet I fear the months after. I don't want to become a burden on him where he feels the need to take care of me and make sure my life is planned out. It's my job to do so and I can't ask or even let him worry about such things. I know I'm happiest when I'm with him and when I imagine the years ahead he's always there with me. I will just have to live my life to the furthest degree I can take it and see where I end up.
Current Mood:  contemplative
|
April 20th, 2004
09:52 am - Part I
( A friend in need )
Current Mood:  happy
|
March 25th, 2004
04:53 pm
*sighs* I just don't know... maybe this was a mistake. I can't compete with a girl who's going to have his child. I don't know why I bother. I told myself there was no one here for me, and I should've listened.
( Tony and his temper )
Current Mood:  melancholy
|
January 29th, 2004
01:52 pm
Ooh, I should make this a dream diary!
Current Mood: excited
|
|
|
|
|
|
LiveJournal.com |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
purple_gryff's journal